Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
