ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
