Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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