I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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