...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
