Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
