I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
