Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
