I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
