can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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