Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
