He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
