So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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