Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
