She is in my trunk
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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