drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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