Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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