i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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