the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
