All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
