No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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