i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
