you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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