is your mom at the bar?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
