the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
