I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
