I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
