You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
