dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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