I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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