You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Operation Purity has been aborted
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
