So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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