the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
not ubering you a puppy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
