That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
