Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
