this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
