I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
