Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
