do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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