i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
