you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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