Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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