we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
