Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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