"it" just moved
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
