it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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