One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
