who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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