party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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