Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
